Just A Hunch

I just knew that the lady behind the counter, the one dubbed "krazy paint lady" thought maybe she wasn't the crazy one when I told her that I wanted a "small" can of paint. For the moment, the term "quart" escaped my mind and all I could think of was "pint". Except I wasn't at the bar, I was at Home Depot. And the fact that I was completely clueless as to what finish I wanted (just something "really shiny") and not being able to decide on whether or not I wanted primer based paint... yeah, that pretty much sealed her assumption.

I just knew that the friendly Home Depot man regretted his offer of assistance the moment this high~heeled boot wearing mama clomped past him looking for beadboard. Hands full of paint and supplies, it was obvious I was on a mission. A mission I felt come to a screeching halt as I stood before the beadboard because it was in sheets of (maybe) 6'X4' and I only needed 2 sections of 42 1/2" X 7 1/2' and 2 sections of 10" X 7 1/2" (or something like that). So FHDM (friendly Home Depot man) offered to cut it down to size (apparently a service they provide... who knew?) if I purchased the entire sheet.

I just knew that FHDM was thinking, "lady, take your boots and your fake Prada handbag and go back to where you came from" when I whipped out my measurements and told him, "these probably aren't exact but this is what I think I need".

I just knew that FHDM was slightly glad he was dealing with a nut case when the one board came out a teensy bit longer than what was supposed to be and upon his offer to do re~cut, I shrugged him off with a "naw, I'll probably have to pound these in with my hammer anyways... I mean little rubber mallet thingy".

I just knew that the FHDM was thinking this blonde must dye her hair brunette as he watched me tip tap away in my heels, all the ingredients for a perfect minor turned major home project disaster balanced precariously on some sort of wheelie cart thingy I was pushing toward checkout.

But, I just know that the white with lattice in~lay coffee table type piece of furniture in my basement in going to look great as a black with beadboard in~lay coffee table type piece of furniture in my living room.

I just know.

Big Spending

You know you've spent way too much money on a stupid pair of Twinkle Toes that your daughter just has to have because you've heard daily reports from her on exactly who was wearing the sparkling flashing sneakers in school, when you look at the tag and think "I could buy 3 pairs of shoes at Target for this much money".

You know you can chalk one up to "mom insecurities" when despite the breathtaking price tag you allow her to pick out the MOST EXPENSIVE style during back~to~school shopping. (You couldn't possibly do this because you're remembering when everyone else in the whole school {slight exaggeration} had Reebok Pumps.... except you. And you don't want your daughter to be "you".)

But what really confirms that you've lost your ever loving mind is when you go to return said sneakers (because after 6 mornings on the kindergarten playground the inside sole is falling apart and now your daughter won't wear them because it "bodders" her and you didn't spend this much money to have these shoes just sit there and not twinkle) and the (male) sales associate looks at the receipt and says, "are you sure you have the right receipt because this is for $46 dollars?" and I say, "and they were on sale!" And he says, "I wouldn't even spend this much money on shoes for myself!" And I say, "You would if everybody else was wearing them!" And all of the other moms around instantly know that I'm talking about Twinkle Toes because their daughters have daily reported to them that everybody has them so can I please, please, please have them, too!?!

Any other moms lost their minds, too?

The Li'l Kid's 1st Day