I Am So Gonna Die

So track season officially begins tomorrow. This will be my third year as head varsity girls' coach at JCS and call me psycho but I think I'm going to attempt to do their workouts with them. See, 10 years ago I was "Miss Track and Field" at JCS. I "trained" all year long for the sport and even competed my freshman year in college. Then I got engaged and had to focus on "life", which unfortunately didn't include competitive running, but the upcoming wedding was motivation to stay in shape. Even after getting married I stayed relatively fit, thanks in part to Beth and our stinkin' cheap gym memberships.

Well, everything changed the moment I found out I was pregnant. Instead of hitting the gym after work, I hit the couch. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with Carnation instant breakfast become my new favorite snack.

Three years ago I was offered the opportunity to take over the coaching position from my former coach who was retiring and I jumped at the chance. That was the spring that I was pregnant with Lexi. I actually attempted to run a couple of times with the girls. I was 20 weeks along and we were practicing on JCC's piece of crap track. I was in the middle of a relay hand- off with my sprinters when I completely lost my balance and went stumbling down the track headed for a major wipe out. Fortunately, the runner I was handing off to heard me shriek and turned around just in time to catch me. I happened to casually mention to my doc at my next appointment that I was "thinking" about running with my girls. He quickly nixed that idea explaining to me that my sense of balance could be off with my growing tummy and he wouldn't want me to take a nasty spill. Okaaaay.... I announced to my girls that the doc had told me that running was a no-go but that I would definitely run with them next year.

Well, that next year was last year and did I run? Nope. Wait, wait, scratch that. Yes, I did. I ran a 400 which killed me and then the SAME DAY I ran a 200 sprint. What was I thinking!?!? I am not lying when I say that my entire body reminded me for 3 days of my stupidity. After that I found it much easier and comfortable to yell encouragement from the sidelines.

But now track is starting again and I really want to run. The problem is I don't know if my body will allow me to. My legs have always been really sore and achy whether from an intense workout or being on them all day. I had 2 false positive tests for lupus last year; so even though I don't have the disease I still ache alot. Plus, I'll be heading straight to work 2 or 3 days every week from practice and I'm afraid I'll be so sore that work will be unbearable. What I'm trying to figure out is if these are all legit reasons or if I've just got way too many excuses for my own good.

I put on 35lbs. with Austin's pregnancy and 40 for both of the girls'. Even though I'm only 5 lbs. away from my pre-babies weight, I have, shall we say, a "softer" physique. I have love handles and a tummy pooch. I have "grandma" arms and flabby thighs. I'm not necessarily trying to lose weight, I just want my clothes to fit like they did 6 years ago. I want to feel healthy again. So I'm going to do it. I'm going to run with my girls and I am going. to. die. At least my clothes will look good on me for my funeral.