Not Me Monday... Laundry Edition

As I have been, ummm, rather behind on the laundry lately, I thought that this "not me" post should be dedicated to airing the dirty laundry out... one Hosmerville secret at a time.

• I have absolutely not done only 5 or so loads of laundry within the last month. And because of this, you can absolutely see the laundry room and both bathroom floors.
• Because of said laundry issues, I have not routinely snatched worn underwear off the pile on Austin's floor for him to wear again (and again).
• My husband did not, no way, have to go commando the other day at work because his underwear supply ran out. And even if he did, he most certainly did not actually enjoy his free~balling experience.
• (I will definitely not be in the dog house for that last revelation.)
• I did not have to resort to wearing newlywed/pre~baby thongs because my stash of more sensible mommy panties ran out. Said thongs did not leave deep red marks and cut off circulation to my lower extremities. Because after 3 babies I am still a perfect size 2.
• I absolutely learned my lesson after wearing uncomfortable undergarments for several days in a row and did a load of laundry. I did not wake up Saturday morning and dig through my bathing suits to find the most underwear~ish pair of bikini bottoms to wear because I most certainly had a load of freshly laundered unmentionables.
• Eddy has not been known to dig through the laundry and chew holes in the crotchal region of dirty underwear. With the help of meds, he has absolutely been able to kick this disgusting habit.
• I have never loaded my son into the van, wearing only his skivvies and a shirt. And I most certainly have not ever, no never, secured his shorts in the rolled~up window of the van and allowed them to air dry at 70 mph on the way to church.

Nope, not me!!!