Not Me Monday: Pantyless In Church

No, NOT me, because I wouldn't do that... really! And neither would my youngest daughter, just to be a little defiant. She was definitely not fighting with me about wearing a dress one Sunday not long ago. Definitely NOT fighting to the point where I finally said (after struggling to get said dress over head and arms, buttoned up, and tied in back), "You stay dressed or else you'll have some time out." Well, my sweet Lexi would have absolutely not thrown her shoe at daddy's precious big screen, earning her that spot in time out she was hoping to avoid. And while in time out my 3 year old couldn't have actually outsmarted mom and taken off the only piece of clothing unseen, which would have made her slightly undressed and, in turn, winning the battle with mom.

I would not have been so busy trying to get the rest of the crew ready that I would have thought to stop and do a pantie check on the way out the door for church. So it would not have been till we were sitting in the very front row and after singing several songs that I would finally realize the child I was holding on my hip was not going commando under her dress. I did not actually have to whisper (very loudly to be heard over the singing), "Lexi, where are your panties!?!" and she did not reply very simply, "I took them off in my bedroom. (ha, I won!)" Ugh!!!

Now, before you go thinking we're stellar church goers, sitting in the front row, and all... don't! Because we weren't possibly in the very front row because it was AWANA's award Sunday and my youngest commando was about to get up on stage in front of the whole church to accept her Cubbie award. Nope, I definitely did not spend the rest of the service sweating that she would trip and go sprawling spread eagle on her way up, or that once up there with her group Miss Maggie would make them sit "criss cross applesauce".

And after all of this, you would have thought I'd be a little more thorough in my pre~departure checks. Purse? Check! Bibles? Check! Panties? Check! Nope, it wasn't the same little girl who told me as I was buckling her into her car seat just yesterday that she didn't have panties on. Again.

And since it's been awhile since I've 'fessed up, let me tell what else my little lovelies have NOT said or done over the past month or so.

Austin has not become quite aware of the female's upper anatomical features lately. No, my sweet innocent little boy did not ask me awhile back if I "have boobs this huge?" with hand gestures to emphasize his point. While I was momentarily left speachless (and trying desperately to think of something "cool" to say), he wouldn't have possibly shot back with, "you don't... I can't even see the bumps from them." (In a very matter~of~factly, hate~to~be~the~one~to~break~it~to~you~mom tone.)

Since I am not the model of female loveliness I would never have caught Austin peeking up the shirt of a female mannequin at kohl's the other nite. Apparently he needed to find out what a real woman looks like. This curiosity absolutely could not have come from his father (who, according to rumor, was NOT caught {24 years ago} passing around the JC Penney lingerie ad on the kindergarten playground. Nope! Not my husband!)

And Audrey, (you didn't think I could possibly get thru this without mentioning her, did you?:)Audrey has not been somewhat fascinated by the male anatomy as of late. (*Just a side note~ we do not go parading around naked in our house~ HONESTLY! Austin doesn't see me undressed and Tom is so private, well... I can't even remember the last time I saw him naked.) But apparently Audrey has her assumptions or maybe she caught a glimpse when Tom was using the bathroom. Who knows. But what I do know is that when Audrey gave Tom one of those huge dill pickles from the pickle barrel at Prime Cuts she did not tell him, "here's your pickle... it's as big as your wiener!"

And being the discreet, modest people we are, our dinner table convo the other nite did not turn into this:

Audrey~ I saw daddy's (well, you know! Do I really have to type it?)

me~ oh really? (the picture of perfect nonchalance)

Audrey~ yeah! And it was this chubby! (to emphasize, she holds up her hands in circle large enough to make an elephant jealous)

me~ (eyes get really BIG. Trying to remain casual as we finish up our conversation. Really, REALLY hoping this doesn't come up as a topic at preschool's show~and~share.)

So there you go, now that I've confessed about what my kids didn't do, I'm gonna get back to keeping private what should be private... until the next "not me Monday".

Deep Thoughts

The wheels in Audrey's head were turning this morning. Right away she started talking about God and how Jesus is His son, but mommies have babies. I can see where this is going and it's not quite 9am and I haven't had my coffee yet. I'm not ready to use my brain. But she's been thinking. And I find it amazing that someone so young intrinsically knows that God's perfect plan for her life includes babies after marriage. (Because even though the kids know how babies are born, they still don't know how babies are made. {Whew!} And because they don't know how babies are made they don't understand why it's best that mommies and daddies should be married before having children. Or should be married before even practicing;) So Audrey isn't thinking like an adult, she's thinking like a 5 year old and she knows that something is a little off or missing. So she finally just says, "Is there a Mrs. God?"

And so began our discussion of the Trinity... Is the coffee made yet?

Not Young, Not Old, Just...

30! Yup, I celebrated my 30th yesterday and it was probably one of the best birthday celebrations ever! Growing up, birthdays were always so special for me. When else do you have your very own special day? But the last couple of years, I've been feeling very "grown~up" as my birthday has seemed like just another ordinary day. But yesterday was different. I woke up and inspected my reflection in the mirror. Whew! No gray hairs magically appeared at the stroke of midnite and all of my wrinkles were the same familiar ones from age 29;)

Tom woke me sometime after midnight to tell me happy birthday and to remind me that I was 30 now. Gee, thanks! But if there was ever a time I needed beauty sleep it's now! With old age rapidly approaching, it's crucial I get a full 4 or 5 hours!:)

Several hours later, Austin presented me with my birthday present (which was lovingly wrapped in homemade wrapping paper~ complete with a rainbow, a "30", and "mama" on the front. Inside was New Moon.... sweet! (Can't wait to watch it tonite when the kids are asleep.) Although, Austin (or the girls) have never watched the movies, they all know about mommy's slight obsession and he and Tom had gone birthday shopping the nite before when I was in Camden Frontier with the girls for a track meet.

Tom called around noon to tell me to have the kids at his parents by quarter to six that evening. Hmmm, since I had already had a expensive fabulous birthday/scrapbooking weekend, I wasn't planning on anything else special. But I was turning 30, after all, so I didn't protest to the evening's plans.

After meeting Tom we headed out of town toward Ann Arbor. I was secretly wondering if he was going to take me to the Melting Pot but when we parked in a parking garage and headed toward Mongolian BBQ I started thinking stir fry. It wasn't till he paused on the street corner across from Mongolian's and started looking up and down the street that I realized he had different plans. And sure enough, he confessed that we were headed to the Melting Pot for 7 o'clock reservations. Yum!!!!

We had a super private little booth in the back of the restaurant and enjoyed 4 courses. Our waiter prepared everything table side. We started with a cheddar cheese fondue. It had a beer base and he added minced garlic and fresh crushed peppercorn to the shredded cheddar cheese. That course was served with assorted bread chunks, granny smith apple pieces, and raw veggies. This was super yummy and I would definitely get it again!

Next came the salads, which were included as part of the dinner we chose, but next time I would skip this course and save room for everything else. Tom had the house salad and I had the California salad, which was okay but I ended up picking all of the Gorgonzola cheese off (a little too pungent for my tastes).

For the main course, our waiter brought out some sort of broth base and added garlic and cilantro and then squeezed the juice of an orange and a lime in (this was the mojo style for those of you taking notes;) Yummy! All of our meat and vegetables were raw so we received a quick cooking course on times and techniques then we were left to experiment. Our platter included teryaki (sp?) sirloin (Tom's fave), kiwi lime shrimp (my fave), lobster tail, sushi grade tuna, chicken, pork, and vegetable dumplings (weird). We also had red potatoes, broccoli, and mushroom caps~ all really good with the fondue base!

And finally.... dessert (the BEST part:) We picked the turtle explosion (or something like that). It had a milk chocolate base and Mr. Waiter added in caramel and chopped pecans before flambeing it with Bacardi 151. The dipping platter had rice crispy treats, a piece of cheesecake, chocolate covered cherries, brownie and pound cake bites, marshmallows rolled in oreo and graham cracker crumbs, and strawberry and banana slices. By this time, I thought I was going to explode, I was so full. It was an amazing dining experience and we were there for almost 3 hours.

We hadn't planned on being out so late and I ended up having to call in late for work (yes, I am such a responsible adult that I didn't take my birthday nite off;) I got to work 45 minutes late and I'll probably get written up for it (kinda like when I got my one {and only} detention on my 13th birthday). So I ended my day filling candy bins but feeling pretty special and loved (and very full!) What more could a birthday girl want!?!

So This Is Nirvana

Scrapbook heaven, scrapbook paradise... call it what you want but one thing is for sure, this weekend was absolutely amazing! Lindsey (I'd link her blog but she hasn't updated in forever, ahem;) and I and 10 other ladies met up at Sunset Scrapbook Cottage for a weekend of scrapping madness. The cottage (all 3000 square feet of it) was incredible! We quickly claimed our tables by the floor~to~ceiling windows overlooking the back deck/hot tub/pool area and the beautiful Lake Michigan view and got busy. I was able to finish Audrey's book up thru her recent 5th birthday before heading to bed Friday night Saturday morning.

After an awesome breakfast prepared by our personal chef Laura (who, seriously, came solely to do meals for us crazy ladies), I started in on Austin's book. I had some work to do since I was slightly behind. Later in the evening, Lindsey and I headed down to the private beach with Laura to watch the gorgeous sunset over the water. The stairs, all 150 of 'em, weren't so bad on the way down, but going back up was a different story. (Not that I couldn't have managed but I did have to "conveniently" empty my shoes of sand halfway up;) Lindsey and I stayed up waaay too late giggling about the poor misfortunes of one particular raccoon family and other miscellaneous hilarities before turning in slightly before the first group of ladies awoke to start their Sunday. I was somewhat concerned when I finally shut my eyes to sleep and all I could see was the paper and dies rolling thru the Big Shot machine (kinda like when you've been on a boat all day and you still feel like you're rocking hours later.)

Now there's just quiet. All of the other ladies have headed for home but Lindsey and I are determined to enjoy this till the end. I did 36 12X12 pages, catching both Austin and Audrey up. I've written thank you notes from the kids' birthdays a couple of months ago, I'm blogging, and then we'll probably head to the beach and maybe even enjoy the hot tub before calling it one of the best weekend's ever.

This was my (upcoming) 30th birthday present from Tom and the kids and I couldn't think of a better way to kick off my 30's!

Audrey's Birthday Celebration

Audrey chose the Rainforest Cafe for her 5th birthday family dinner. These pics are from when we went a couple of weeks ago. Since I'm always behind on pics I thought I might as well share them;)

I *love* this picture of big sister holding up little sister to feel the mist rising from the stone wall.

Audrey's "birthday cake". It was presented with a glowing sparkler on top. (But, truthfully, it looked a lot better than it tasted. Oh well, we paid for the experience;)

Audrey and her favorite fish: the "unicorn fish".

Heading home. Birthday girl is pouting (and refusing to be in the picture) because I wouldn't shell out big bucks for some stupid trinket. No, I'm not that mean (*gasp*). Really, I'm not. But I am quite cheap;) She was given a budget to work within, besides the fact that she had already opened up numerous presents at home. We got lost on the way to Auburn Hills. Birthday girl turned into diva girl. I got sick on the way home. But all~in~all, a fun family experience!

You Can Have Your Cake...

... and eat it, too. For the latest culinary projects in Hosmerville head over here.

Brotherly Love

My daughter is 5 going on 15. She's into all things "grown~up". For example, Audrey bought a "priracy journal" (privacy journal, i.e., diary) with some of her Christmas money. It's very "grown~up" with a pen light and lock and key. My mom has written little love notes to her and she occasionally asks me to narrate her drawings but perhaps she ought to keep it locked and hidden away more often, as the other day I was cleaning up and found several pages ripped out and discarded on the carpet. I glanced at them to see why she would deliberately tear out pages in her precious book and this is what I found:

Entry #1:

Audrey

serelle

cheek your

panse I think

you problly

bumed you smell

Mom's translation:

Audrey

seriously

check your

pants I think

you probably

boomed you smell

("boomed" in case you were wondering is another word for "pooped" around Hosmerville, don't ask...)

The second entry was very similar to the first, but in slightly different sloppy handwriting. So I knew there must be at least 2 co~conspirators involved:

Entry#2:

Audrey you

smell like a

rutin egg

sereasly.

cheel your

panse. I think

you bumde.

I work with my son every nite doing homework and I know his writing, so I had a suspicion as to whom the author of entry #1 was. As a mother who knows who her sons "hangs" with (and also because entry #2 had capitalization and punctuation~ a dead giveaway this came from an older, more knowledgeable scholar) it wasn't too difficult to figure out his partner in crime. Sure enough, when confronted about the anonymous entries later, Austin immediately threw his cousin under the bus. And after some coaxing and prodding, eventually admitted to the other half of the "crime" himself. I actually thought the whole thing brilliant, (imagining the authors giggling to themselves as they wrote and Audrey's look of indignation as she discovered their work) but did my best to remain calm and serious as I tried to explain why that possibly wasn't the nicest thing to do. As for getting these siblings to get along and appreciate and love each other, I am at a loss. "This is all part of a normal brother/sister relationship", is what I keep telling myself. Right?

Audrey Is 5!!!

We were so busy celebrating yesterday that I didn't get a chance to send out birthday wishes to my beautiful princess. Happy birthday, Audrey Catherine Grace!!!! You truly are a real handful now;) I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOOOOOVE YOOOOUUUUU~OH! (sang Buddy the Elf style.)

Excuses, Excuses

Can it already be the middle of March and I am just now doing my first post for the month!?! My main excuse reason for not blogging is because a couple of weeks ago our wireless router decided to conk out on us. Tom called tech support and, of course, got a foreigner he could barely understand (does anyone else always get some non~English speaking person when you're making technical calls or is it just us?) After a couple of minutes into the unproductive phone call Mr. Foreign Guy tells Tom he can no longer help him without charging him for the call because our router is out of warranty. GRRR!!! So, because we are too cheap to buy another router at this point our laptop is now a desktop downstairs in the basement, plugged in at the wireless source. Not quite so easy to bang out a quick post. But today I found a way around the system. I logged into blogger and went to the posting page before unplugging the laptop and bringing it upstairs. (*except I just realized that without being connected I can't do spell check)The girls are watching Toy Story and I have a quick chance to catch up a bit. Let's do bullets for some random bits of going ons:

• Austin started his spring b~ball at the Y. Last week in his first game he shot 100% for 14 points and loved every bit of playing time.
• I started track. Yesterday. With all 3 kids in tow. No babysitter this year, so I have dubbed them my junior assistants. I have "hired" my own track assistant who will be available to get practices started (while I'm doing afternoon carpool) and hopefully help keep things organized and running smoothly. (Running smoothly... because it is a track team... aww, nevermind.)
• I am waaay behind on laundry. No surprise there, really.
• We are really enjoying the bright, sunshiny spring weather.
• Audrey turns 5 on Thursday. She wants pink cupcakes with flower sprinkles for her classroom birthday treat. I will be baking Thursday morning.
• Audrey has also requested to go to Rainforest Cafe for her birthday dinner. Not sure when we're gonna squeeze that in as the nearest Cafe is 2 hours away, Thursday is a school nite (duh) and...
• Tom and his brother will be out of town this weekend for some sort of auto conference. I'll be single~parenting it, with the help of my MIL.
• Tom will have his own turn at single parenting in April when I head to West Michigan for an entire weekend of scrapbooking with friends. I am so psyched! We have reserved a house overlooking Lake Michigan. It's been set up for scrapbooking getaways. With a sauna and hot tub on the deck and DirecTV, I may not get a whole lot of scrapping done. But I am definitely looking forward to getting away!

I'm hoping that when I reconnect to the internet this will all post or else this session has been all for naught ( and I thought I was being sneaky.) We shall see. Actually, if you can see this, then it has been a successful post. If you're in Michigan, enjoy the good weather this week. I heard the "s" word may be in the forecast for this weekend.

First Comes Love, Then Comes...

...Marriage!!!! He did it! After eons of dating (ok, slight exaggeration), my brother FINALLY asked his girlfriend Lindsey to marry him. And she said, "YES!!!" Can you tell I'm just a little bit excited!?! Ok,... a LOT bit! After searching thru my pics to add some visual aid to this post, I have realized that we really don't have very many pictures of Miss Lindsey. Even though she's half hidden in these 2 photos, they will have to do for now; but trust me, she is beautiful on the inside and out! Here in Hosmerville, she has always felt like one of the fam and now it's official. Welcome to the family, Lindsey!

(oh, and can I just add that I clearly recall this {paraphrased}convo with little bro several years ago...

Me: Micah, Tom and I have been wondering, why don't you date Lindsey?

Micah: oh, she's a great girl and I love her to death and all, but it'd never work...

Flash forward to the present. They're engaged. He~llo!!! Just one more proof positive that big sis always knows best;) Man, I wish I was a betting woman. I could've made money off this deal.)

Congrats Micah and Lindsey!!! (And now that you've put a ring on it, Austin has put in 1 small request. He wants a boy cousin. Seriously.)