Yeah, That Kind Of Morning...

Woke up late. 7:02, oh s*$%! Quickly gulp down my meds with a glass of water which gives me a full-blown stomach cramp (that lasts well into the afternoon.) Get Austin settled on the couch to wake up with some juice and cartoons and happen to peek out the window. The van is gone. Do a double take. Yup, the van's gone. Tom's car is still parked, he's at work... why the heck did he take the van!?! Call Tom at work.

me: TJ, why did you take the van? Don't you remember that Austin goes to school every day now?

Tom: I left the lights on in the cutty. The battery is completely dead. Wouldn't even start after I tried jumping it with the van. I'll come home as soon as Stu gets here. Austin doesn't start till 8:30 right?

me: No, he starts at 8:10 *sigh*

Ok, no big deal, Austin will be just a couple of minutes late. Waiting for Tom will help make up the lost time because I didn't get up. And being the stellar mom that I am, I washed an extra load of laundry so Audrey's favorite jeans were clean and ready, hopefully preventing a diva meltdown and ensuring a tear free morning. She's begged to wear her "heart jeans" all summer and I have put her off all summer as it has been way too hot. Just last week she got to wear them and was absolutely thrilled. I know it's worth the extra trip down to the basement to dry her beloved jeans (at 11pm last nite) because she'll be happy and make getting dressed an easy process. Except today. We're feelin' the love the whole time she's getting dressed. Get her settled with her juice and cartoons and head off to quickly dry my hair. Come out of the bathroom to find her pantless.

me: what's the matter, Audge?

Audrey: (starting to melt) my jeans are bodderin' me! I'm not gonna wear 'em!

She heads to her room and comes out with a pair of pink shorts. I ponder.... is it worth the fight?

me: whatever *sigh*

Go to get Lexi dressed. Her diaper is dry! Of course after holding it all nite she has to go potty. Heads to the bathroom to do her thing. Success! Collects a potty treat for her, Austin, and Audrey and heads out to the living room to pass out the jelly bellys (this bit of info is important, just wait.) Phone rings. It's Tom, he's on his way. School is starting right.... now! Ok, kids, head to the door lets get your shoes on. Audrey comes running towards me all panicked, seconds away from another meltdown.

me: what's wrong, Audge?

her: it's stuck in my nose!!! *wail*

me: what's stuck in your nose?

I get down to assess the situation and see only a bit of pink something crammed up in her left nostril. A really mammoth booger? A piece of fruit loop? (where the h$%* would she get fruit loops from?) A chunk of cherry kool-aid play dough that we made the other day? What?!?!

Audrey: my potty treat! *another wail*

me: (in my head) you've got to be frickin' kidding me! to the Audrey: I don't know, honey, I guess we'll just have to go see Dr. Rao. (Am I really gonna make my kid suffer for almost an hour with a jelly bean stuck up her nose?) No time to ponder.

Phone rings. Tom again. I just got frickin' pulled over so it'll be a while before I get home!

Back to Audrey. Just hold still!!! I squeeze down over the bridge of her nose. She pulls away. OWWW! I said hold still! Another squeeze. We're making progress. Pulls away again. It HURTS!!! Ok, one more big squeeze and out pops Audrey's pink potty treat already partially dissolved by her snot.

Tom pulls in the drive. Successfully jumps the cutty while I load the kids. Austin is 20 minutes late.

Yeah, that kind of morning.