Never A Dull Moment With The Hosmer Fam

Last nite we almost burned my in~laws' house down. Ok, I exaggerate slightly... let me start from the beginning.

Do you ever fell like your life is one big show for everyone else's viewing enjoyment? That's how I feel when I'm with my kids. There's nothing quiet or calm about life. It's like, ok world, the Hosmer family has arrived, sit back and prepare to be entertained. I don't blog about our craziness often enough, but seriously, every event, every experience on this blog is true. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

So back to yesterday. We headed over to my in~laws to celebrate Miss Audrey's upcoming 4th birthday. We had dinner and Audrey temporarily forgot about the waiting cake and presents and the kids went off to play. Later, Audrey remembered she had a princess cake with her name on it. We gathered everyone together and sang "Happy Birthday". She blew out all of her candles in one breath and we enjoyed cake. Then it was on to the presents. We were still all gathered around the table and as Audrey pulled out the first of the tissue paper from a bag it landed pretty close to a lit Yankee candle in the middle of the table. As she pulled out the next piece of tissue paper I started to say, "Watch out for the candle" as it landed on top of the open flame.

What happened next, in actuality, lasted maybe 20~30 seconds max, but played out in slow motion in my head. Tom heard me and grabbed the paper off but as he was pulling it away it caught fire. (I think all 6 kids were rather impressed with this bit of impromptu pyrotechnic display). I was waiting for him to drop it on the table so we could put it out but he continued to hold on to it. Until he burned his hand. Then he dropped it onto his mom's favorite table cloth. Which drew more flames. I jumped up and grabbed some half empty glasses and attempted to douse the fire. But the small amount of liquid and ice cubes didn't quench the flames. At this point I began to internally panic as I saw tomorrow's newspaper headlines flash across my mind's eye: Birthday Party Turns Tragic, Entire Hosmer Family DEAD!!!. (Ok, so I'm a bit of a spaz.) I start beating out the fire with the empty glasses in my hands and finally get it out. By this time I'm starting to giggle because Rona and I are the only ones attempting to put out the fire. Everyone else is just calmly sitting by (once again enjoying the show). We get the fire out and I look up to see Rona has frosting in her hair because as she jumped up, her hand went into the cake. She gets cleaned up, we push the scorched table cloth aside and Audrey continues on with the presents. With the smell of smoke in the air. As if nothing out the ordinary has happened.

And now as I think about it, I guess this just might be the Hosmer "ordinary".