Anatomy of a Mommy Purse

I have a dilemma. See, I've been carrying around a super cute handbag (or maybe I should say, "mommy bag") all fall. It's a rusty orange color with quilted pockets. I saw it back in July at Target and knew immediately that I had to have it. I put off spending the $20 for at least 2 weeks until I couldn't stand it anymore and bought the dang thing (on sale, no less, for $14.99). Anyways, my problem is this: I don't consider it to be fall anymore (even though winter is still technically 20ish days away). In my perfect little world I cannot possibly carry a fall styled bag now that winter is practically here. So switch to another purse, you're thinking. Well, that's just the thing. I have this "Coach" purse that has been sitting in my closet unused for 5 months; a really-cute-hot-pink-splash-of-brightness-in-the-dreary-winter-weather kind of purse. But the fall purse is really a bag and the Coach purse is really a dinky little thing, more for looks than practicality.

So, how do I get 6+ pounds of crap (yes, I actually weighed my bag) into a purse designed to hold about 10 ounces of dainty lady things? Any suggestions? My purse is really my grown up version of a security blanket, I can't possibly go anywhere without it. I know your all dying to know exactly what it is I'm lugging around with me every day, so I'll leave you with the breakdown:

• 3 pens
• 1 purple bunny barrette
• a Kate Spade perfume card, sprayed with something too expensive for me to wear
• a leaking bottle of hand sanitizer
• 4 individual packets of Wet Ones moist wipes
• a lip palette from The Body Shop
• 2 hair ties
• a pot of Burt's Bess lemon butter cuticle creme
• 2 tampons
• my wallet/checkbook
• Lexi's winter hat & mittens
• Austin's mittens
• the last 2 days' mail, including: 3 catalogs, 2 thankyou's, an invite, a sample box of tampons from Tampax, and a bunch of junk
• a Huggies size 3 diaper
• a travel case of wipes
• a pair of pink Old Navy socks
• 2 travel size, winter themed packages of Swankie hankies
• a bag of Pure Romance products that I have to deliver to a friend
• a small blush brush
• 1 size 3 brown "dress-up-for-church" shoe
• a hair brush
• a calculator
• 2 note pads
• my coupon organizer
• a small bag of Quaker Oat oatmeal squares
• Lexi's pretend cell phone
• checkbook for bank account #2
• checkbook for health savings account
• a small, rubber pink pig
• an old gum wrapper
• no money